no officer, i haven’t been drinking

Happy Thirsty Thursday!
Ever wondered how to sneak booze into places?  Of course you have, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this and we wouldn’t be friends because, come on now.
Aside from the obvious sticking a flask in your boot, flask in your pants, flask under your cowboy hat (this works really well), I’ve found these other contraptions that are mind-blowingly awesome and will make you wonder how you lived your whole life without them.
Cynthia Rowley is a genius with this amazing flask bangle that was pointed out to me today.  A flask that double as jewelry, sign me up!  The only issue is the price, which is pretty steep at $225 but I’m sure someone on Etsy will make a knockoff sooner or later. 
(hint hint, someone get on this)
Another great invention is the Wine Rack, a bra that holds 25oz of your favorite booze concealed as a bra.  I’d imagine this might attract some weirdos with breastfeeding fetishes, but hey, that’s a risk that’s worth taking, right?
For the man in your life, the Reef Dram flip flops have a flask in the heel, which is pretty freaking crazy.  The only downside is that you have to stand barefoot while pouring, but we all have to make sacrifices for the sake of the booze now, don’t we?
The Baggy Winecoat is another clandestine way to carry booze.  It looks like a purse but is a perfect receptacle for those bladder bags of boxed wine.  While it’s a bag that reminds me of the Coach hobo bag I toted around in 10th grade, the style might be attractive enough to some boozers out there.

Do you have any great ways of smuggling booze?
Disclaimer: I am not condoning the smuggling of booze into places where outside beverages are prohibited.  Do not break the law.

10 thoughts on “no officer, i haven’t been drinking

  1. Lauren says:

    Haha that bracelet is awesome! The flip flop one kind of freaks me out though. Seems like that spout would get dirty really fast, or bust while you're walking which would be a catastrophe! Love this post.

  2. Carly @ The Pinot Project says:

    Soooo…this is the most ridiculous story ever, and if I hadn't had witnessed it, I wouldn't believe it. I went to a concert with a friend and one of her friends that I didn't know also came with us. She snuck a mini bottle of vodka into the concert in…get ready for it…her underwear. You know how some underwear have the extra crotch layer that is not sewn down on both sides?

  3. Duh! Danae says:

    I used to have this Volcom purse that had a hidden zipper in the bottom corner and it opened up to in between the lining of the purse. I used to put all kinds of shizz in there.

  4. Angela says:

    That purse does bring back middle school memories. So funny! (Of course we didn't have booze in it though.) This post is hilarious. The bra is unbelievable… wouldn't it get warm from your body heat? Not ideal. 🙂

  5. Carylee says:

    I went to a concert with a friend who just had a baby. She brought her breast pump and cooler with her… which also had jello shots in it. We found the youngest male checker at the door, and the second she told him it was a breast pump (which she unzipped for him), he quickly and awkwardly waved us in. A) genius B) extra genius bc you get the buzz but without having to potty!

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