haute couture helmets

Yesterday I had super fun visit to the Emergency Room in New Jersey (insert sarcasm font here).  Since the ER docs in Louisville checked me out for a full 2.5 seconds before discharging me and I haven’t been able to shake this headache or dizzy feeling since Sunday, my parents insisted I decided that I needed to be seen by someone who wasn’t battling an Emergency Room of drunkards on a Saturday night.  
As it turns out, I have a freaking concussion!
Ugh.  Accordingly, it was suggested to me (by countless people) that perhaps I should consider living in a bubble to keep my body safe from harm. You may also recall that I tore my ACL four months ago on a ski trip…and last year I was in another car accident.  I’ll admit, being strapped to a back board 3 times in 16 months is a bit excessive, so I started to look into options.
Living in a plastic bubble seemed a bit over the top, not to mention makes it difficult to drive; hug people; and order drinks at a bar.  However, a helmet might be just the thing I need. 
A friend suggested the blinged out helmet (pictured below) which sent me on a search for awesome helmets. You can’t have just one helmet if you’re going to be wearing it everyday, right?  Below are some of the options I’m considering.*  I’ve named them according to the mood I think I’ll be in while wearing them.
BADASS HELMET
For those “don’t mess with me” days
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STEGOSAURUS HELMET
On days I’m craving Paleo foods… Cro-Magnon man would totally have rocked this.
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MATCHES MY DIAMOND SHOES HELMET
When I really want to show off how fancy I can be.
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DISCO HELMET
For rollerskating parties.
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I’M A LABEL WHORE HELMET
When I need to pick up foundation at an upscale department store and want to not be ignored by snooty sales associates.

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TWIGGY MOD HELMET
For those coquettish lash days.
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IT’S FREEZING IN BOSTON HELMET
When I’m miserable and cold in 3 feet of February snow.
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KENTUCKY DERBY HELMET
So I’m well protected at the Derby next year.  Also appropriate for any impromptu toga parties.
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I’M FEELING LIKE I MIGHT NEED MORE THAN A HELMET, HELMET
To be worn during tourist season, at a crowded event, or anytime more protection is needed.
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Which helmet do you think suits me the best?
*I’m not actually considering any of these helmets, although it might not be the worst idea.

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