As I mentioned on Friday, this weekend I went to a Toby Keith concert. If you’re not a fan, then you can’t fully appreciate the title of this post, which is an awesome song of his, but I still love you anyway (just a little less).
I suited up in my country finest on Friday afternoon and headed out to tailgate. I picked up my friend, Colin, who was accompanying me to the concert and he informed me that my uber-adorable American flag bull skull shirt that I was super excited to wear looked like…the female anatomy.
Sidebar: He’s also the guy who took my profile pic and the pics that created the hilarious gif on my About Me page. Congrats buddy, you’re famous now.
That didn’t deter me from having a good time. My vagina shirt and I were happy to “Get my Drink On” so whatevs.
This was Colin’s first country concert and I properly popped his cherry with some heavy tailgating and picture taking.
Yes, those are mutton chops he’s sporting. No one has any idea whats going on with them but they’re ridiculous. I did suggest that perhaps he should become a Battle of Gettysburg reenactor if he keeps up with the crazy facial hair. Of course he guffawed in my face, as people tend to do when you’re wearing a large American flag vagina on your shirt. To which the only appropriate response was to take off my shirt and tailgate in a bikini and that shut him up for a bit. Then his mutton chops wanted to take this awesome picture of me and our cowboy boots and all was forgiven.
We even made a new friend (as you tend to do when you’re tailgating with bourbon and everyone else has Miller Lite) who looked like Brad Paisley (no joke, and I totally should have gotten a pic but I didn’t). Instead we took a picture with his boots because, priorities. The Brad Paisley look alike had a gynecologist friend who he introduced us to and then boys spent a good few minutes pointing out the fallopian tubes and uterus on my new not so favorite shirt.
Like any good friend who’s paying for the tickets, I made Colin schlep two chairs into the stadium that we didn’t even use. He and his mutton chops were a good sport and they even bought us some overpriced craft beers.
I posed for a picture in front of the stadium as proof that I was there before swigging down the bourbon that we smuggled in. Sidebar: PNC Arts Center has a potential security breach that I will be happy to share with them after I smuggle more booze in at another concert next week. Amateurs.
See I was there.
The concert was awesome–vagina shirt and mutton chop approved. We hung out in the parking lot waiting for traffic to subside and rumor has it I might have used a porta potty in the dark because I’m classy like that.
How was your weekend?
I’m linking up with Sami for Sami’s Shenanigans today!
